9/15/2005
Hackers Crack Slater's Sidekick, Don't Find Much
(Beverly Hills, CA) Actor Christian Slater misplaced his T-Mobile Sidekick last week, and hackers thought they struck more celebrity phone number gold.
Unfortunately, the under-employed star's phone lists contained very little useful information, said hacker Phineas P. Phreak.
"Yo, this motherf**ker doesn't know anybody," he said. "Nothing but a bunch of crack dealers, hookers, and pizza delivery numbers."
Phreak said that he was momentarily excited when he the Sidekick came into his possession.
"I thought this would be just like Paris Hilton all over again, but Slater ain't got shit," he said. "It's like this dumbass hasn't called anyone famous in years."
One number that looked promising turned out to be a dead end.
"I saw this entry that said 'Samuel J,' but the motherf**ker must have been high or something,," said Phreak. "Wasn't Samuel Jackson, but some stoner 'round Mulholland way."