.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}

9/22/2005

Oil Prices Rise In Advance Of Hurricane Rita


(Galveston, TX) Hurricne Rita, roaring along at a Category 5 pace in the middle of the Caribbean, had fueled speculative spkies in oil and natural gas futures.

Local station operators across the nation are also raising prices.

"I start raising prices every time the lot fills up," said Fred Karoll, owner of a Galveston Stop-n-Rob. "They may bitch a little, but people are too lazy to get in another line."

Larry Pontell, a Toledo station owner, justifies his $.20 hike on his normally-thin profit margins on gas.

"Look we only make a couple pennies a gallon," he said, adding that his currrent $2.99 was $.40 over the wholesale price he paid on Wednesday. "Why can't gas stations have Christmas once in a while?"

Hurricane forecasters expect that Rita's landfall will likely send gas prices shyrocketting. That's good news to Jeroen van der Veer, CEO of Royal Dutch Shell plc.

"Jesus Christ, we made billions off of Katrina, and now God sends us a second hell-storm in 4 weeks?" he asked. "We'll be able to buy up half the Fortune 500 by the time this hurricane season is over!"

Comments:
here she comes
 
Who's that singing Anticipation?
 
Post a Comment



<< Home
Copyright 2007, National Nitwit ® . Unauthorized duplication prohibited, but feel free to link away. This is a satirical newspaper, and many of these stories are fictional. You have to guess which ones are faked. National Nitwit ® uses invented names in its stories, except when public figures are being satirized, or when we post a real story. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. Subcomandante Bob once got jiggy with your mom, and she does things in bed that would shock you, dude. The content of this website is the property of National Nitwit ® and its authors, and may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the publisher. National Nitwit® is not designed for readers under 18 years of age. FAIR USE NOTICE: This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of environmental, political, human rights, economic, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues, sustainable development, environmental, community and worker health, democracy, public disclosure, corporate accountability, and social justice issues, mostly because hot college women are also interested in the same issues. Go figure. Anyways, we believe this constitutes a "fair use" of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without fee or payment of any kind to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes, except when you are using it to get laid. If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?