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Baltimore Tunnel Closed After Terrorist Flatulence Threat

(Baltimore, MD) Federal authorities questioned "several" people Tuesday in connection with a specific terror threat that prompted Baltimore officials to temporarily close one of two downtown tunnels under Baltimore Harbor.

Details of the exact method of delivery are sketchy at the moment, but federal officials believed that a new type of "dirty bomb" might have been planned for the area.

"It is our understanding that terrorists planned a massive stink bomb, several orders of magnitude than the infamous 2002 Washington Junior High stink bomb," said Kevin Perkins, a spokesman for the FBI's Joint Terrorism Task Force. "This was a 'silent-but-deadly' device that not only killed, but also tormented its victims in their death throes."

Federal, state and local officials began investigating reports of a tunnel stink bomb plot several weeks ago, and police had anti-stench squads ready to respond to such an attack, said Maryland Governor Robert Ehrlich.

He said the state's alert level was not raised because "you don't want to give advance notice to the bad guys," and that "we are talking about a really nasty smell" that would overwhelm the tunnel's ventilation system.

"Remember that time in Scouts when that kid in your tent was cutting the nasty cheese? It's like that, but much worse," said Erlich. "I mean a wicked expulsion of intestinal gas worse than anything ever experienced by the human nose."

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