.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}

10/18/2005

Baltimore Tunnel Closed After Terrorist Flatulence Threat


(Baltimore, MD) Federal authorities questioned "several" people Tuesday in connection with a specific terror threat that prompted Baltimore officials to temporarily close one of two downtown tunnels under Baltimore Harbor.

Details of the exact method of delivery are sketchy at the moment, but federal officials believed that a new type of "dirty bomb" might have been planned for the area.

"It is our understanding that terrorists planned a massive stink bomb, several orders of magnitude than the infamous 2002 Washington Junior High stink bomb," said Kevin Perkins, a spokesman for the FBI's Joint Terrorism Task Force. "This was a 'silent-but-deadly' device that not only killed, but also tormented its victims in their death throes."

Federal, state and local officials began investigating reports of a tunnel stink bomb plot several weeks ago, and police had anti-stench squads ready to respond to such an attack, said Maryland Governor Robert Ehrlich.

He said the state's alert level was not raised because "you don't want to give advance notice to the bad guys," and that "we are talking about a really nasty smell" that would overwhelm the tunnel's ventilation system.

"Remember that time in Scouts when that kid in your tent was cutting the nasty cheese? It's like that, but much worse," said Erlich. "I mean a wicked expulsion of intestinal gas worse than anything ever experienced by the human nose."

Comments:
ewwww
 
Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link



<< Home
Copyright 2007, National Nitwit ® . Unauthorized duplication prohibited, but feel free to link away. This is a satirical newspaper, and many of these stories are fictional. You have to guess which ones are faked. National Nitwit ® uses invented names in its stories, except when public figures are being satirized, or when we post a real story. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. Subcomandante Bob once got jiggy with your mom, and she does things in bed that would shock you, dude. The content of this website is the property of National Nitwit ® and its authors, and may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the publisher. National Nitwit® is not designed for readers under 18 years of age. FAIR USE NOTICE: This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of environmental, political, human rights, economic, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues, sustainable development, environmental, community and worker health, democracy, public disclosure, corporate accountability, and social justice issues, mostly because hot college women are also interested in the same issues. Go figure. Anyways, we believe this constitutes a "fair use" of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without fee or payment of any kind to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes, except when you are using it to get laid. If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?