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10/03/2005

Kabbalah Expert: Madonna's Name Translates As "Filthy Whore"

Left: Madonna sharing secrets of the Kabbalah with Britney Spears

(New York, NY) Rabbi Jacob Immanuel Shochet, renowned Kabbalh specialist, announced the findings of his research into pop star Madonna's name.

"There are two possibilities: 'filthy whore' and 'skanky jezebel,' but I prefer the former," he said. "It more accurately captures the nastiness that is the nafke Madonna."

The pop star, always self-identifying as at least a nominal Catholic, raised eyebrows with her embrace of the Kabbalah, a mystical Jewish tradition that claims to be a key to understanding divine knowledge.

Shochet said that there is little room for error in his findings.

"No matter how you slice it, she comes out pretty vile," he said. "Other possible permutations for that rotten zhlub include 'STD-infested hoe-bag' and 'putrid prostitute.'"

The rabbi took issue with less conservative Kabbalists who have found different interpretations.

"Look, I know all about Schlechem and his 'dirty diva' nonsense," he said. "You can't put polish over shit - Madonna is one disgusting kurva."

# posted by Subcomandante Bob : 1:03 PM
Comments:
I'll never forget when that happened, all of these guys on this message board I frequented were supposedly so "disgusted" by the kissing. Yet I had quite a few ask me to help them find the video of it. I guess they just wanted to make sure it was really "disgusting".

:-)
# posted by Blogger Unknown : 5:59 PM
 
Disgusting, yes, but in a kinky, arousing, sexual kind of way...

All men(except me)are scum!

I'm still a prevert though ;-)
# posted by Blogger Hooda Thunkit (Dave Zawodny) : 11:10 AM
 
Rabbi J. Immanuel Shochet YOU are a scumbag! Your time would have been better spent raising your children properly, so they didn't turn out to be Child Molesters (i.e. Sruli Shochet), rather than worrying about Madonna! YOU ARE A FAILURE!
# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : 12:03 PM
 
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