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Remains Of James Doohan Chucked Back To Earth

Left: James Doohan, better known as Scotty from "Star Trek"

LOS ANGELES, California (Reuters) The remains of "Star Trek" actor James "Scotty" Doohan were"beamed down" Sunday, despite his last wishes.

The space cannister included a crudely-written note from unidentified beings.

"Look, I don't care if the old coot was an original Trek cast member," the note read. "We are tired of your planet's jetsam and flotsam ruining the paintjob on our spaceships."

The note continued with an attack on Doohan's acting ability.

"Sure, he had the Scottish brogue and all, but he really was a one-trick Shetland pony," it said. "We might have made an exception for Leonard Nimoy, because we kind of dug that "In Search Of" show, but Scotty was kind of a putz."

The unnamed creatures also ssued a warning.

"If you continue to persist in this behavior, we will be forced into retaliatory action," they wrote. "Let's just say the interstellar septic tank gets mighty nasty after a 10 million light-year trip."

poor scotty
aye captain...
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