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"Scooter" Libby Requests New Nickname

(Washington, DC) Lewis "Scooter" Libby, Vice President Dick Cheney's former chief of staff, told reporters yesterday that he is tired of his childhood nickname and wants another.

"Yes, 'Scooter' has got to go," he said. "I just realized how stupid this sounds after hearing it on TV all weekend."

Libby was charged on Oct. 28 with obstructing justice, perjury and lying in the two-year investigation into the leak of covert CIA operative Valerie Plame's identity after her husband criticized the Iraq war. He faces a maximum sentence of 30 years in prison if convicted.

"I was thinking something a little more tough-sounding, like 'Snake' or 'Killer,'" Libby said. "If I am going to be spending time in prison, I wonder if 'Scooter' is a little too, well, wimpy-sounding."

Libby has assembled a high-priced team of lawyers to fight the charges in court, including Theodore Wells, whose clients have included former Agriculture Secretary Michael Espy and financier Michael Milken.

"What do you guys think?" Libby asked the assembled reporters. "Doesn't "Scooter" come across like someone who is not going to get respected in a prison setting?"

"...I wonder if 'Scooter' is a little too, well, wimpy-sounding." --"Scooter" Libby

I've thought about Scotter's comment (above) and, how should I put this?

Scooter, has just the right amount of wimpyness for you guy, so suck it up "scoot" and deal with it.

Mr. Peepers!
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