National Nitwit

(Philadelphia, PA) President Bush, speaking Monday in the cradle of American democracy, compared Iraq's struggle to the plight of America's founders and praised the war-torn nation about to hold its third election this year.

"I can think of no better place to discuss the rise of a free Iraq than in the heart of Philadelphia, the city where America's democracy was born," Bush told the World Affairs Council of Philadelphia. "The Iraq war is a lot like the Revolutionary War, except with out those fife and drum dudes. Man, those guys are a real stitch."

The birth of democracy is never easy, Bush said.

"No nation in history has made the transition to a free society without facing challenges, setbacks and false starts," he said. "And those 30,000 dead Iraqis should be seen as 'setbacks,' not as real people. Come, on- they are Muslims, for Chrissakes."

About 15 million Iraqis are eligible to vote on a permanent 275-member National Assembly, an election that U.S. officials have said marks another important step on the path to democracy in Iraq.

"The Iraqi people are stepping forward to claim their victory, and they will have it," Bush said. "And anyone who gets in the way of democracy is gonna get a faceful of .50 caliber rounds."

Bush called upon the Itaqis to embrace democracy.

"Listen, you bastards: we didn't travel 12,000 goddamn miles for y'all to get soft on us," he said. "You are going to like democracy, or we are gonna have to kick even more ass."