.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}


Evans To Leave Red Cross Over Policy Differences

Left: Outgoing Red Cross chief Marsha J. Evans

(Washington, DC) American Red Cross President Marsha Evans, who led the agency through a much criticized response to Hurricane Katrina, resigned yesterday in yet another sign of continuing troubles inside the organization that bears prime responsibility for delivering relief to victims of disasters ranging from storms to terrorist attacks.

Sources within the Red Cross said that differences over operational procedures led to the departure of Evans.

"Blood donations have steadily decreased over the past ten years, and Marsha wanted to go back to our traditional base: addicts and the poor," said one source. "She told the board last week: "AIDS, schmAIDS. We gotta get those blood supplies up if it kills us."

Among the suggestions Evans proffered was a new campaign to woo addicts from for-profit clinics.

"This plan was called 'Smackdown,' and we would provide some high-grade Afghanistani heroin on every return visit," said the anonymous source. "We figured that blood donations would triple within a month, but the tight-assed board wouldn't go for it."

Although the Red Cross is a private, nonprofit charitable organization, it possesses responsibilities on a scale usually associated with governments. In the National Response Plan, the federal government's blueprint for dealing with disasters, the Red Cross is designated as the primary agency responsible for sheltering, feeding, and offering medical care to people after a large man-made or natural emergency.

Evans also fell out of favor with her revised disaster scenario plans.

"Marsha thought that it would be a lot faster just to fly helicopters over disaster zones and dump baskets of $20 bills over the people," said the source. "We figured that we could eliminate entire levels of bureaucracy, and get the help directly to the needy."

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home
Copyright 2007, National Nitwit ® . Unauthorized duplication prohibited, but feel free to link away. This is a satirical newspaper, and many of these stories are fictional. You have to guess which ones are faked. National Nitwit ® uses invented names in its stories, except when public figures are being satirized, or when we post a real story. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. Subcomandante Bob once got jiggy with your mom, and she does things in bed that would shock you, dude. The content of this website is the property of National Nitwit ® and its authors, and may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the publisher. National Nitwit® is not designed for readers under 18 years of age. FAIR USE NOTICE: This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of environmental, political, human rights, economic, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues, sustainable development, environmental, community and worker health, democracy, public disclosure, corporate accountability, and social justice issues, mostly because hot college women are also interested in the same issues. Go figure. Anyways, we believe this constitutes a "fair use" of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without fee or payment of any kind to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes, except when you are using it to get laid. If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?