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Bush Finishes “Berenstain Bears” Book Series

By Billy Pilgrim, National Nitwit Rogue Editor

(Washington, DC)—In a short press conference held earlier this morning, President Bush announced that he had finally finished reading the entire “Berenstain Bears” book series, and that they had made an indelible impact on his life and leadership.

The epic catalog—which encompasses a wide range of picture books and novellas—consists of over 250 texts, and is considered by many to be an impressive accomplishment for the Commander-in-Chief.

“Folks think Condi [Rice] is the only intellectual in this administration,” Bush quipped as he casually leaned forward on his podium. “But I want the American people to know they have a thoughtful president, a diligent president—a leader who understands the dangers of put-downs and too much junk food.”

When asked by a National Nitwit correspondent how he found time to read given his whiplash schedule, Mr. Bush appeared eager to boast of his scholarship.

“Well, I skip a few meetings now and then, Billy…that goes without saying,” Bush candidly revealed. “But know this—the War on Terror is profoundly stronger thanks to the struggles of Brother Bear and Sister Bear. If I have any say in it, they’ll eat a supper of Osama bin Rabbit before their adventures are over.”

I just gotta say it again - those Berenstain Bears just crack me up!
Uh huh...
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