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Constitution Reclassified As "Sensitive Document"

(Washington, DC) Joining a list of newly reclassified public documents, the US Constitution has been removed from public access.

"There are sections of this document that should be hidden from public view," said Mark Greider, spokesman for the Information Security Oversight Office. "We feel that our job of fighting terrorism and protecting American freedoms is severely curtailed by easy access to sensitive documents like the Constitution."

US intelligence agencies have been removing thousands of historical documents from public access. The restoration of classified status to more than 55,000 pages began in 1999, according to the New York Times.

Greider said that the Constitution could provide terrorists with "critical intelligence" that would slow terror plot investigations.

"We don't need to have terror suspects whining about shit like "due process of law" and "unreasonable searches and seizures" when we are grilling them," he said. "Locking up the Constitution is the first step in protecting the liberty of Americans."

The reclassification program is shrouded in secrecy and governed by a still-classified memorandum that prohibits the National Archives from saying which agencies are involved. Greider said that he hopes the program itself returns to obscurity.

"What were we talking about again? I must have Alzheimer's disease," he said.
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