National Nitwit

(Washington, DC) Hundreds of letters to National Nitwit from concerned consumers describe odd visions of creepy insects.

(Actually, it was three, and we made them up. Whine about it to the lawyers.)

"I started taking this shit a month ago, and began to see these bizarre green butterflies," wrote Michelle Richardson. "I'm afraid to take this drug again."

Lunesta (eszopiclone), according to its manufacturer, is a "prescription sleep aid that can give you and your restless mind the sleep you need." Readers say Lunesta gives them more than they bargained for.

"I was just beginning to relax when the bugs showed up," said Yancy Pamell, of New Hampshire. "How the hell can a person sleep with flying insects in their rooms? I'll tell you how - they can't. I'm going back to NyQuil and vodka."

Another writer reported questioning his sanity.

"I often find myself taking my nailclippers and slowly chopping down my nails to bloody stubs, allowing droplets of blood to drip on a piece of paper, which I mail to my ex-girlfriend," wrote Iggy (last name withheld). "I have never actually tried Lunesta, so I don't know if this helps your story, but Melinda might want to try it. That's my ex-girlfriend. She's going to come back, one way or another, once she realizes the depths of my love."