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2/11/2006

Olympic Start Marred By Spontaneous Combustion


(Turin, Italy) This city below the Alps gave a heartfelt welcome Friday night to the Winter Games, a fiery opening ceremony dedicated to passion and to igniting the competitive spirits of more than 2,500 of the world's best athletes.

The buoyant mood of the event, however, was marred by the instantaneous combustion of ceremonial skaters.

"Jesus - fucking - God - help - me!" screamed an unidentified victim careening around the stage whilst engulfed in flames. "AARRRRRRRGGGGHHHHH!"

Dozens of Italian firefighters chased the half-dozen ignited skaters with fire hoses, which proved ineffective against the petroleum based accelerant.


"All I wanted to do was share some peace and goodwill to the world, and now I am a fucking circus freak!" screamed Helga Svensson of Sweden. "Look at me. Just LOOK AT ME!"

Olympic authorities were at a loss for the accident, but vowed to devote security resources to the investigation.

"This kind of thing really burns my ass," Turin's security chief Goffredo Sottile told reporters. "But did you see that one chick flailing around on the ground to put out the flames? Man, that shit was funny! I mean, I feel bad for her, but it was like watching your dog trying to get a piece of meat you've tied to its collar. Hilarious!"

Comments:
Damn, dirty Olympic marketers who put these people at such risk!
 
ewwwww
 
If you are truly funny, you won't need to go around leaving irrelevant comments on people's blogs. So quit with the tacky self-promotion and stick to the tacky jokes.
 
If you don't like people commenting on your blog, TURN OFF THE OPEN COMMENTS.

Besides, your post was Olympic-related, so my comment was indeed relevant.

Jackass.
 
Hey Joe:

If you were really concerned about the evils of self-promoting, you would have posted anonymously, like this.

Instead of putting your ugly fucking mug on this wensite.
 
Subcomandant Bob,

Thanks for finding http://houston.citysceneblog.com; and, thanks for your additional information.

tsk tsk ...such a shame; and, she was such a pretty girl, eh?!

Catch cha' on the flip side ~ jasmine
 
Related my ass.

I don't like *irrelevant* comments.

Running around, adding comments to every single blog that mentions the Olympics is damn near spam.

Why was my comment not anonymous? Because I'm logged in to Blogger and I want s.b. to know what was criticizing him. Anonymous comments carry no weight.
 
Then turn off your comments, moron, if you don't like people commenting.

But it appears you just want to start a flame war.

A sensible person would have just deleted the comment and moved on.

Joe here has to follow back to the blog and start trolling.

Also, "spam" implies some commercial gain, for which there is none on this site.
"Pimping" might be more accurate, but even you admit there was at least a tacit connection to the thread (Olympics).

And, I do not discriminate against anonymous comments. Do what you want on your own blog.
 
Well, Bob, I must say your site is very funny, and a helluva lot more entertaining than dipshit Joe's.
 
Dude, I only read this site once or twice a week, but I feel confident in saying this: go fuck yourself, Joe. If Bob left a comment, who gives a rat's ass.
 
that pic is the sickest thing I've seen all week.
 
I said "damn near spam".

It's sad, really, that you can't take a little criticism without throwing a temper tantrum and inventing imaginary friends to back you up.

That attitude will get you real far in life; good luck.
 
Whatever, dude. You are the one who keeps coming back here.

And as for "imaginary friends?" Hardly. If you turned on the anonymous comments feature on your blog, you would find that the number of commenters doubles or triples, because a lot of people don't want to deal with getting a Blogger account.

Your assumption that the anonymous commenters are our "imaginary friends," of course, ignores the fact that many anonymous commenters were critical of the piece.
 
I *do* have the anonymous commenting feature on. No one needs a Blogger account to use my site.

I have anonymous comments all the time; they just don't carry as much weight as signed comments, especially when they're talking trash.

And my assumption didn't ignore anything; of course you didn't make anonymous comments on your own blog that dissed yourself. LOL.
 
You obviously cannot read, as there are several people that posted negative comments.

You are a strange man. Go away, and flame elsewhere.
 
The only people who have criticized me are you and "anonymous" (i.e. you).

I'll gladly go elsewhere; I love you too.
 
He's baaaaaack....
 
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