National Nitwit

(Washington, DC) Citing "pigmentary preference," Crayola crayons descended on the nation's capitol today to demand that they each receive their own history month.

"It's not right that Black gets its own month, while the rest of us crayons stay in the box," said Midnight Blue. "What's so special about Black? The only time anyone uses Black is on the margins."

Another crayon said that Black History Month is just an attempt to mollify a certain crayon for historical wrongs.

"So Black had to sit in the back of the box all those years, big whoop," said Bright Red. "Me? I'm the first one that kids try to eat, since I look like candy. And look at Burnt Orange over there, sitting all by himself. Kids never use Burnt Orange until every other color is used up, but nobody gives him a Burnt Orange History Month."

Other crayons spoke to the logistical difficulties faced by 128 different colors competing for 12 months.

"Yeah, some of us will have to share, there's no doubt about that," said Raw Umber. "And some of us, like Blue Green, have some identity issues that need to be worked out. But dammit - there's no good reason why Black should be the only one with a History Month."