.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}


Tom Brady Takes Drywall Job During NFL Off-Season

By Billy Pilgrim, National Nitwit Rogue Editor

(Boston, MA)—Just hours after the Pittsburgh Steelers won a decisive victory in Superbowl XL, New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady announced that he would take a job as a contractual drywall worker until late summer.

Brady, who made a brief appearance during the Superbowl coin toss wearing a stylish velvet jacket, seemed confident in his decision.

“I regret that the Patriots could not compete in this landmark game,” Brady revealed before a small audience of lingering journalists as fans trailed from Ford Field. “That is why I have decided to work freelance construction gigs until the coaching staff needs me back on the turf.”

The former Super Bowl MVP said that he has learned from the best.

"I was watching these wops slap that shit around in my rec room last year, and I just jumped right in with them," he said. "Since then I've drywalled my garage, the doghouse, and the little shed I keep the garbage cans in. I'm a natural!"

Brady was confident his hammer and trowel would improve many homes in the Boston metropolitan area in coming weeks.

“The media loves to portray me as some sort of pretty boy,” Brady quipped. “But I can work like a Chinaman on a Colorado railroad. You know the Stewarts on Vine Street? I’m about to run a clinic on their unfinished basement—just you watch.”

Uh - could you hand me some drywall nails? Thanks, pal!
Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home
Copyright 2007, National Nitwit ® . Unauthorized duplication prohibited, but feel free to link away. This is a satirical newspaper, and many of these stories are fictional. You have to guess which ones are faked. National Nitwit ® uses invented names in its stories, except when public figures are being satirized, or when we post a real story. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. Subcomandante Bob once got jiggy with your mom, and she does things in bed that would shock you, dude. The content of this website is the property of National Nitwit ® and its authors, and may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the publisher. National Nitwit® is not designed for readers under 18 years of age. FAIR USE NOTICE: This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of environmental, political, human rights, economic, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues, sustainable development, environmental, community and worker health, democracy, public disclosure, corporate accountability, and social justice issues, mostly because hot college women are also interested in the same issues. Go figure. Anyways, we believe this constitutes a "fair use" of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without fee or payment of any kind to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes, except when you are using it to get laid. If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?