National Nitwit

Left: Iraqi insurgents celebrating freedom and democracy

(Washington, DC) Despite the gruesome violence in Iraq last weekend, President Bush continues to emphasize the positive, saying, "Iraqis have shown the world they want a future of freedom and peace."

"As more capable Iraqi police and soldiers come on line, they will assume responsibility to get their own asses blown off," the president said. "The goal is to have the Iraqis filling more body bags than the coalition by the end of 2006."

Iraqi forces have planned, conducted and led more than 200 independent operations in the past two weeks, more than those being conducted by coalition forces, Bush said.

"Not all Iraqi units performed as well as others, especially the ones who sold their supplies to the insurgents," he admitted. "There were reports of Iraqi units in eastern Baghdad allowing militia members to pass through checkpoints and all that, but the Iraqi people are making free decisions on their own to carry out a civil war, and that's what democracy is all about."

Bush added that since the invasion on March 20, 2003, Iraqis had gone from "living under the boot of a brutal tyrant to living under the many sandals of the insurgents."

"The Iraqi people are now free to blow up mosques, torture rival factions, and detonate car bombs in outdoor markets," he said. "These are fundamental freedoms they could not express under the repressive regime of Sadaam Hussein."