By Billy Pilgrim, National Nitwit Rogue Editor
(Washington, DC)—For financially savvy American males, it appears the quality of one’s credit is the newest measure of one’s manhood, and has led to some stiff competition even among close friends in the corporate community.
Studies also show that rivalry is most rigid among trendy, 30-something urbanites, whose lives seem to revolve around their economic stature.
“Sometimes after work, me and the guys go out for drinks at Lenfant Plaza,” said Mitchell Vance, a consultant for a D.C.-area paralegal firm. “Invariably, after we have a few, we all throw our credit scores on the table. Basically, if someone is under 7 [hundred] on the FICO scale, we heckle the poor bastard into the gutter.”
Vance added that some of the women in the group rarely participate in this ritual, and suffer from what he called ‘credit envy.’
“We love to have chicks tag along, but they can soften the discussion,” remarked Vance. “At the end of the day, I think somebody needs to slam some credit inside them. Especially Jill from HR. That bitch needs a good ramming.”