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3/06/2006

Disney To Buy Guantanamo Bay, Open Theme Park


(Guantanamo Bay, Cuba) Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld announced today that the US government will sell the troubled Guantanamo Bay detention facility to the Walt Disney Corporation.

"We decided that the US government does not belong in the torture business, and we have turned the facility over to torture specialists," said Rumsfeld. "You ever sit through one of those sappy Disney stage shows? You know what I mean."

Rumsfeld believes that the move will benefit both parties.

"Disney gets some prime beach real estate, a world-class airstrip, and a built-in labor force of foreign workers," he said, referring to the remaining detainees. "The US government gets the hell out of this mess, and pockets a cool $3 billion for the war on terror."

Disney CEO Robert Iger said that many of the detainees are "perfect" for park employment.

"The toughest of the Afghan fighters will be a natural for the new 'Terrorists of the Caribbean' ride," he said. "And just imagine what we can do with a sword-wielding mujahideen at 'Snow White's Scary Adventures.' We'll use the rest to sweep up cigarette butts and work the deep fryers at the concession stands."

# posted by Subcomandante Bob : 7:27 AM
Comments:
he he he he
# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : 8:52 AM
 
A lot of these prisoners come from overbearing regimes that enforce blind obedience, loyalty and hero worship of the sexist founding...


wait a minute I lost my thread
# posted by Blogger Chris : 11:55 AM
 
Sounds like the PERFECT solution :-)
# posted by Blogger Hooda Thunkit (Dave Zawodny) : 4:56 PM
 
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