3/16/2006
US Begins "Operation Let's Blow Shit Up"
(Samarra, Iraq) Frustrated with insurgent campaigns aimed at sparking a civil war, US and Iraqi military commanders unleashed the deadliest show of force since the beginning of the Iraq War.
Dubbed "Operation Let's Blow Shit Up," the campaign is designed to ease miltary frustration and provide stateside viewers some fireworks.
"Look - when nothing gets destroyed people get restless," said General John Abizaid, head of US CEntral Command. "This campaign will show the American people that no one can send clouds of debris in the sky like the US military."
More than 1,500 Iraqi and coalition troops, over 200 tactical vehicles, and more than 50 aircraft participated in the operation. Massive plumes of smoke brought repeated "ooohs" and "ahhs" from gathered embedded reporters.
"About ten minutes ago they totally scorched this group of mud huts," enthused MSNBC's Chris Matthews. "Boy, I would not have wanted to be the unlucky bastards in those hovels."
The operation appeared to be concentrated near four villages — Jillam, Mamlaha, Banat Hassan and Bukaddou — about 20 miles north of Samarra.
"I say we level the entire landscape," said FOX reporter Bret Baier. "Nothing says "fuck you" to insurgents than a charred, 10-square mile stretch of death." Paris Hilton