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Wilford Brimley To Leave Rolling Stones

(Las Vegas, NV) As reported here at the National Nitwit the Rolling Stones added character actor Wilford Brimley to the band in January, but strained relations have apparently caused a split.

"Wilford's out," said a terse Mick Jagger. "The old bastard has neither a sense of time nor tune, plus I will absolutely scream if I hear him butcher the word 'diabetes" one more time."

Brimley was sanguine about his parting with the band.

"I came to Vegas back in the '40s, before this was the Horseshoe," he said. "There wasn't much on Fremont Street back then-two hotels, a couple of joints, and the railroad station. I've been coming to the Horseshoe for probably 25 years. What did you just ask me, young man?"

The band's recent North American tour was the highest-grossing tour of all time, with figures from US trade publication Pollstar showing the group sold tickets worth $162 million in the US in 2005. Brimley said that the Stones were a "bunch of hippie-boys," but that he learned a lot from the experience.

"I didn't go to high school," he said. "I think that after you learn to read and write and do your numbers and flush the toilet behind yourself, you don't need no more schoolin'. You need to get out in the water and swim."

Brimley said that Jagger, Richards, and the Stones were "right fine partners."

"In the early days, I roped calves. I was a wanna-be-I couldn't beat nobody if they let me bring my own calves, but I sure tried hard," he said. "I won a silver-tooled buckle in the team roping event at the Walt Garrison All-Star Rodeo in Mesquite, Texas, in 1946. Why are you here again, mister?"

he he he he
Wilford isn't having as much trouble with pronouncing the word "diabetes," as he will be having pronouncing Alzheimer's...


(The old FART!)
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