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4/08/2006

Accused Witch Mary Winkler Behind Tennesee Storms

(Selmer, TN) A line of severe thunderstorms and tornadoes conjured by accused witch Mary Winkler swept parts of four states on Friday, killing at least eight people and leaving a trail of damage in Tennessee, said authorities.

Coupled with the tornadoes that stuck the state last weekend, the death toll is now up to 35 in the reign of spectral terror wrought by the Selmer woman.

"Oh, we have no doubt that Mary Winkler is behind all of this," said Tennesee governor Phil Bredesen. "I still had a few doubts after last weekend, but this latest batch means that the Devil himself is working through Mary. God help us."

Attorneys for the diminutive Winkler denied that their client was involved in sorcery.

"Look, people - she might be a homicidal lunatic, but she has no power over the elements of nature," said Steve Farese, part of the "Memphis Dream Team" representing Winkler. "She's as normal as you or me, except for that part about blowing away her husband. THAT was some freaky shit."

Officials in Tennessee, though, stuck behind the witch theory.

"What else could it be? Even God doesn't stay pissed this long," said Bredesen. "I say we burn the satanic minion before she sends a hurricane this way."

# posted by Subcomandante Bob : 12:57 AM
Comments:
I can't believe that someonw who has the education and and the drive within them to be elected governor of a state would say that the she is responsible for all the weather in the last few days. So if you are going to blame her for all these lives being lose then who would you like to blame last years hurricanes on as well as any other thing that might happen in this world. I did not know her, I have meet her one time at a wedding of her husbands family a few years ago. As well I have known the Winkler family all of my life and I don't think that they would premitt such foolishness to go on in their family whether it be blood or by marriage. Talk like this is an insult to Matt Winkler and his family and for what they have beleved in for years.
# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : 12:24 PM
 
Ummm...it's SATIRE.
# posted by Blogger Subcomandante Bob : 12:46 PM
 
While I appreciate the "humor" in this little piece, I also find it to be in poor taste. I think there is plenty of other subject matter out there and the families in this situation should be left alone.
# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : 6:47 AM
 
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