4/15/2006
DiTech's "Ned the Banker" Busted for Discriminatory Lending
(Los Angeles, CA) Ned the Banker, best known for his "lost another loan to DiTech" commercials, has been cited by HUD for discriminatory lending practices.
Among the most egregious violations - placing For Sale signs with "Whites Only" and "Don't Even THINK About Your Black Ass Grabbing a Loan Application."
"Hey man - DiTech has cornered the marker on conventional loans," said Ned. "That leaves the rest of us fighting over some of the fringe markets, like racist sellers or neighborhoods fighting to maintain their existing ethnic mixture."
Ned said that DiTech, with its simplified, low-fee online system, has drawn away an important segment of the market.
"Yeah, we're pretty much left with the illiterate imbecilles and the people whose credit is so bad that they couldn't get a $10 loan from their brother," he said. "Thank God there are still white supremacists who will pay four points over prime to keep from selling to a spook."
Another lending segment that Ned is beginning to exploit is the first time minority homeowner.
"You get some beaners with a 9th grade education and $5K to put down, and I'll get them into their dream house," chuckled Ned. "Of course, they'll be paying 21% interest and facing an auto-foreclosure clause the first time their loan is late. God, I love capitalism!" South Park