.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}

4/19/2006

Man Awakes From Coma, Finds Tony Danza Still Famous

By Billy Pilgrim, National Nitwit Rogue Editor

(Bangor, ME)—After 19 years in a paralytic coma, New England man Fred Polydor miraculously awoke yesterday, and was baffled to find B-star Tony Stanza hosting his own daytime talk show on network television.

And while Polydor was happy to be reunited with his family and friends nearly two decades after a severe automobile accident, he expressed sincere dismay at the state of the entertainment industry.

“I can’t believe this greaseball is still on the air,” fumed Polydor in an exclusive interview with the National Nitwit. “I almost died in a head-on collision, and I can’t even find a good show to watch at 2 in the afternoon.”

Polydor’s frustration was not merely limited to Danza’s unwarranted acclaim, however.

“Where the fuck are the hover cars and anti-gravity boots?” Polydor grunted. “Another war and another asshole president I can deal with, but if I don’t see one of those automated showers from The Jetsons, I’m running head-first into a brick wall.”

Comments:
It could be worse. Jonathan Bower (Danny Pintauro) could still be working. Wait... forget that. He plays Stefan in a movie called Still Life.
 
Sex robots. We need hot, automated biatches to jump our bones.
 
Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link



<< Home
Copyright 2007, National Nitwit ® . Unauthorized duplication prohibited, but feel free to link away. This is a satirical newspaper, and many of these stories are fictional. You have to guess which ones are faked. National Nitwit ® uses invented names in its stories, except when public figures are being satirized, or when we post a real story. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. Subcomandante Bob once got jiggy with your mom, and she does things in bed that would shock you, dude. The content of this website is the property of National Nitwit ® and its authors, and may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the publisher. National Nitwit® is not designed for readers under 18 years of age. FAIR USE NOTICE: This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of environmental, political, human rights, economic, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues, sustainable development, environmental, community and worker health, democracy, public disclosure, corporate accountability, and social justice issues, mostly because hot college women are also interested in the same issues. Go figure. Anyways, we believe this constitutes a "fair use" of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without fee or payment of any kind to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes, except when you are using it to get laid. If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?