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5/19/2006

Inhofe Introduces Senate Measure to Force Deaf to Stop All That Weird Hand Sign Shit

Left: Inhofe - "What's up with all those signs?"

(Washington, DC) Buoyed by his success in shepherding an English-only law through Congress, Senator James Inhofe turned his sights toward another group that stubbornly refuses to communicate like real Americans - the hearing impaired.

"When those deaf kooks start flashing those hand signals around, I don't know if they're gang bangers or monkeys," said Inhofe. "And when they are doing all that mumbling to themselves, I want to smack them and tell them to be regular Americans."

Inhofe said that assimilation is the key to success in America.

"What do they think they are going to do, keep to themselves?" he asked of the hearing impaired community. "The sooner they get out, mingle a little, and stop feeling sorry for themselves, the faster they'll fit in. Oh, and they gotta get rid of those dorky hearing aids - that's some scary shit."

Inhofe added that he is "really tired" of all the attempts to improve accessibility.

"Oh man - am I ever sick of coddling these whiny, narcissistic disabled types," he groaned. "It's: "I can't walk!" and "I can't hear!" and "I'm paralyzed from the neck down!" all day long. Listen - get off your ass, speak regular English, and quit your bitching. THAT'S the American way. Plus not wearing any of that ghetto clothing, because I'm going after that next. Christ, what's wrong with tan khakis and a nice, clean shirt?" American Idol Macbook Da Vinci Code

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