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5/02/2006

Nagin Unveils New Hurricane Strategy: "Get The Fuck Out"


(New Orleans, LA) Mayor Ray Nagin unveiled a new evacuation strategy for New Orleans today that relies more on buses, trains, and footpower and eliminates the Superdome and Convention Center as shelters.

Dubbed "Operation Get The Fuck Out," the strategy is based upon the premise that the last place Big Easy residents would want to be is in "a stinking, deadly shithole."

"Let's face it - after Hurricane Katrina only utter retards will be stupid enough to stay here," said Nagin. "At the first hint of hurricane trouble, we will urge everyone to get right the fuck out."

Nagin said the cost of implementation will be relatively inexpensive.

"Nobody is going to want to get stuck in New Orleans again," he said. "I imagine that only 10 or 15 ads screaming "Get The Fuck Out" should be enough to convince the citizenry."

Left: Nagin in practice drill telling motorists they should definitely get the fuck out

One of the downfalls of the previos pre-Katrina plans was its lack of urgency.

"If we had said "Get The Fuck Out" in the first 18 hours, many lives would have been saved," said Nagin. "A campaign like "Get The Fuck Out" is direct, simple, and will result in people, indeed, getting right the fuck out of town." Stephen COlbert

# posted by Subcomandante Bob : 4:53 PM
Comments:
I laughed so hard my chest hurts. Thanks, Bob.
# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : 5:23 PM
 
funny shit...too bad it's true
# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : 6:05 AM
 
Okay, it's funny... but I have to say, I was here, and with the exception of the f bombs that IS pretty much what he said before Katrina. Thousands who could have bugged out stayed because we got away with staying every time since 1965 (Betsy) with no real problems, and because they looked at the traffic - 12 to 14 hours to drive what is normally less than 90 minutes away - and decided it would be better to wait it out at home or the Dome instead of on I10.
# posted by Blogger Laura : 6:41 PM
 
Yeah, we admit it - it was just an exercise in seeing how many times we could say "get the fuck out" in one 400-word fake news piece.

We laughed at our own stupidity.
# posted by Blogger Subcomandante Bob : 7:19 PM
 
Countdown to June 1st - you *have* to repost this every time there's a storm in the Gulf, okay? Kind of a PSA thing. :-)
# posted by Blogger Laura : 7:40 PM
 
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