National Nitwit

Left: Bush and Goss

CIA Director Porter Goss resigned unexpectedly Friday, leaving behind an agency still battling to recover from the scars of intelligence failures before America's worst terrorist attack and faulty information that formed the US rationale for invading Iraq.

Goss will next travel to Broadway in the production "Faith Healer," which tells the story of dissolute, charismatic Frank Hardy, his long-time lover, and his devoted manager who travel the back roads of Scotland and Wales peddling miracles.

"I have been doing much the same sort of sleight-of-hand at the CIA, so the role of Frank Hardy is perfect for me," said Goss.

Left: Goss as Frank Hardy in "Faith Healer"

Brian Friel's 1979 play is constructed as a series of monologues, revealing highly individual, sometimes conflicting takes on a set of circumstances.

"That's another area in which my job as CIA director meshed well with this role," said Goss. "Despite the obvious intelligence failures with regard to WMD, we had to take that conflicted information and present it in a way that the public would believe it."

President Bush thanked Goss for his service.

"As a result of Porter Goss this country will be more secure," Bush said. "We've got to win the war on terror, and Porter needs to work on his step-kick." Stephen Colbert