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5/18/2006

Senate Votes to Make Taco Bell Label Everything English

Left: Inhofe - "Speak English, dammit!"

(Washington, DC) In conjunction with rising anti-immigrant sentiment and a slew of immigration reform proposals, the US Senate voted to force fast food chains like Taco Bell to rename all of their Mexican-themed menu items.

"You can't have it both ways," said Senator Jim Inhofe (R-OK), an outspoken English-first proponent. "Taco Bell needs to put all of that Mexican crap into plain English so people know what the hell they're eating."

Among the proposed changes, "chalupa" will be replaced by "fried flour thing with junk in it" and "gordita" will now be "folded deal that makes you fat."

Inhofe scoffed at detractors, who claim that the government should not intrude on private corporations.

"Listen - they probably got a million of them illegals working just in the nation's Taco Bells," he said, pouding the table for emphasis. "These Tex-Mex joints are nothing but fronts for the degradtion of white America and the replacement of English with Mexicanese."

Inhofe also sponsored legislation that will require domestic content standards for "foreign" restaurant chains.

"For every beano burrito those chains offer they gotta sell something American, like apple strudels or kielbasa," he said. "How's a kid supposed to know his heritage when they keep shoving that alien food at him all day?" American Idol

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