5/30/2006
Sniper Jurors: "Laughing Our Asses Off"
Left: The stand-up stylings of Muhamad
(Rockville, MD) Deliberating for less than five hours, the jury in the John Allen Muhammad brought a speedy close to a trial in which the defendant represented himself.
Jury foreman Nicholas Sprague told National Nitwit reporters that he and the other jurors enjoyed the court proceedings.
"This guy was a riot! For most of the trial we figured he was just trying to make us laugh," he chuckled, wiping away a tear. "Muhamad probably never even watched LA Law or Boston Legal, because he didn't even know many of the legal terms. What a hoot!"
Sprague said that jurors had to frequently ask for permission to leave the courtroom.
"I swear to God it was like watching an old Richard Pryor movie or something," he laughed. "Nobody could be that naturally inept - it had to be a put-on. I mean, who says shit like "prima donna" instead of prima facie or "menorrhea" instead of mens rea unless they are just screwing around? You can't write bullshit better than that!"
The jurors, said Sprague, almost didn't want the hijinks to end.
"Muhamad was hi-fucking-larious," he said. "If he wasn't a cold-blooded killer he could do Vegas."American Idol Macbook Da Vinci Code Haditha avian flu bird flu
(Rockville, MD) Deliberating for less than five hours, the jury in the John Allen Muhammad brought a speedy close to a trial in which the defendant represented himself.
Jury foreman Nicholas Sprague told National Nitwit reporters that he and the other jurors enjoyed the court proceedings.
"This guy was a riot! For most of the trial we figured he was just trying to make us laugh," he chuckled, wiping away a tear. "Muhamad probably never even watched LA Law or Boston Legal, because he didn't even know many of the legal terms. What a hoot!"
Sprague said that jurors had to frequently ask for permission to leave the courtroom.
"I swear to God it was like watching an old Richard Pryor movie or something," he laughed. "Nobody could be that naturally inept - it had to be a put-on. I mean, who says shit like "prima donna" instead of prima facie or "menorrhea" instead of mens rea unless they are just screwing around? You can't write bullshit better than that!"
The jurors, said Sprague, almost didn't want the hijinks to end.
"Muhamad was hi-fucking-larious," he said. "If he wasn't a cold-blooded killer he could do Vegas."American Idol Macbook Da Vinci Code Haditha avian flu bird flu
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Funny, yeah; but in a morbid sorta way.
He had the jurors eating out of his hand. He had them rolling in the aisles. He was KILLING them :-O
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He had the jurors eating out of his hand. He had them rolling in the aisles. He was KILLING them :-O
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