.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}

6/25/2006

Gates Can't Believe Buffet Fell for the Old "Charity" Scheme

(Seattle, WA) Billionaire investor Warren Buffett's decision to donate a total of $37 billion - most to a foundation started by Microsoft Chairman Bill Gates - drew an astonished response from the software tycoon.

"I knew Warren was getting up there in years, but I didn't think he was freaking senile," laughed Gates. "I mean, I'm happy to take the old bastard's money, but I thought a savvy investor like Warren Buffet would have smelled out my 'charity' scam right away."

Gates said that he almost felt sorry for fleecing the 75-year-old Buffet, whose Berkshire Hathaway firm is one of the world's largest investment brokers.

"We might have to coin a new phrase to describe this kind of deal," he said, shaking his head. "How about: 'Like stealing a fortune from an Alzheimer's patient?'"

The fake philanthropic scheme was hatched, said Gates, in the 1970s and helped generate cash for his fledgling software business.

"Listen - startup capital is harder than hell to get, but everyone wants to throw money at starving children," he said. "I'm not proud of what I've done, but goddammit - I am going to control almost $100 billion in the next five years. That, my friend, is some scary shit."

Comments:
Don't fall for it Bob, Warren's typing up an email as we speak outlining how he's got all this money, but it's tied up in a special Nigerian account see?

He just needs Bill to advance some funds to allow him to free it up so's he can donate it.
 
Such philanthropists.

I know it's a scam, but where does the world domination part come in?
 
Post a Comment



<< Home
Copyright 2007, National Nitwit ® . Unauthorized duplication prohibited, but feel free to link away. This is a satirical newspaper, and many of these stories are fictional. You have to guess which ones are faked. National Nitwit ® uses invented names in its stories, except when public figures are being satirized, or when we post a real story. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. Subcomandante Bob once got jiggy with your mom, and she does things in bed that would shock you, dude. The content of this website is the property of National Nitwit ® and its authors, and may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the publisher. National Nitwit® is not designed for readers under 18 years of age. FAIR USE NOTICE: This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of environmental, political, human rights, economic, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues, sustainable development, environmental, community and worker health, democracy, public disclosure, corporate accountability, and social justice issues, mostly because hot college women are also interested in the same issues. Go figure. Anyways, we believe this constitutes a "fair use" of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without fee or payment of any kind to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes, except when you are using it to get laid. If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?