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Gaza Militants Think Hideout Lacks a Certain Feng Shui

(Gaza City, Palestine) Palestinian militants, surveying their facilities after a visit by the Israeli army, expressed dissatisfaction with the "harmony and balance" of their space.

"By taking a hard look around and opening up our environment to healthy energy - Chi - we can make changes in our work and living space that will create corresponding changes in our life," said spokesman Ghazi Hajj. "The cozy retreat we had envisioned here has actually become a cold, unwelcoming space."

Hajj said that certain aspects of the building's architectural changes have had negative affects on the personal energy of the group.

"The sharp angles of the building have definitely changed our outlook, especially Brother Haseem, who was impaled by a flying shard of metal," he said, pointing to a moaning man in the rubble. "We are thinking of build an arbor in the space, or maybe a landscape with large potted trees to help bring a sense of oneness with nature here."

Left: Hasseem is not feeling a sense of spatial harmony

Hajj said that the group is working with a Feng Shui master in order to build a more holistic facility for members of the paramilitary group.

"We admit that we are not experts in this area, as our day-to-day operations usually involve putting big fucking holes in buildings," said Hajj. "We hope to improve not only the positive Chi in this place, but also to improve our fortunes. The winds of fate have not blown softly in our direction lately."

Bob, you are too funny.
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