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New York Times Pans Billy Pilgrim Documentary

A National Nitwit Exclusive

(New York, NY)—Billy Pilgrim, recovering lager addict and rogue editor of several leading publications, including the National Nitwit, suffered an artistic blow earlier this week when The New York Times panned his recent documentary on internet pornography.

The 4-hour expose entitled Beneath the Slant: Asian Exploitation and the Capitalism of Sex premiered to a small but rapt audience at PS 403 in downtown Baltimore thanks to a grant from the Maryland State Board of Education.

No fifth graders were available for comment at press time.

“Pilgrim’s overwrought voice-overs and needless jump-cuts make this otherwise mediocre documentary painfully amateurish,” wrote The Times’ Manohla Dargis. “By the third hour, most viewers are inclined to vomit or exeunt and masturbate in the bathroom.”

Left: Pilgrim's art too edgy for snooty NYT reviewer types

Pilgrim, though dismayed by the negative press, remains confident that his cinematic debut has a poignant message in the digital age.

“As a reporter, I always concern myself with human stories, and my challenge as a first-time filmmaker was no different,” stated Pilgrim while revising his latest article in the National Nitwit newsroom. “If the Times could look at all those glistening, young bodies, ravaged by the wanton desires of older men, sweating their innocence away in drafty basements…what was the question again?” Bill Gates to buy up Krugle - heh heh

Too highbrow, methinks...
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