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6/17/2006

Rumsfeld Admits He'd Really Dig a Foursome with Dixie Chicks

Left: "I'd grab that Natalie by the hair and..."

(Washington, DC) US Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld, though a staunch conservative and a war hawk, confided to National Nitwit reporters that he's "totally up for" a sexual liason with country music stars the Dixie Chicks.

"Oh God yes - I'd do each one of them separately, and then bring 'em all together for a crazy-ass bivouac," he said. "Women that hot? Are you nuts - politics don't factor in on a deal like that."

Rumsfeld said that he's not sure which of the three women he most lusts after.

"Natalie's the feisty one, to be sure, which is pretty neat," he said. "Martie's got that classic blond bombshell look, but something about those long legs of Emily just make me crazy. Do I have to pick just one?"

Left: "Eenie, meenie, miney, moe..."

The defense chief said that his wife Joyce was "supportive" of his fantasy, and hopes that the Dixie Chicks will fit Rumsfeld into their busy schedule.

"She's completely cool with the idea," he said, adding that the couple's love life has been "kind of dead" for a number of years. "She did tell me: 'Donald - just don't come home with something nasty.'"

Rumsfeld looked thoughtful for a moment, and turned back to reporters.

"Hey - they might be commie peaceniks, but goddamnit- they're not skanks," he said.

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"She did tell me: 'Donald - just don't come home with something nasty.'"

That would, of course, be the Dick See Chicks
 
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