.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}


Boston Homeless Guy Warned City About Big Dig

Left: Patterson in a lucid moment

(Boston, MA) Local drifter Raymond "Mookie" Patterson, speaking with National Nitwit reporters about the Boston I-90 tunnel tragedy, said that he informed transportation officals "many times" about safety flaws in the structure.

"I was all like, 'the structural integrity of dis bitch is suspect,' but did they listen? Hell no," said Mookie, shaking his head. "I talk with them fellows most every day about problems, but they always like: 'Mookie, go on home.' Now who's sorry?"

Mookie said that his initial analysis of the ceiling collapse indicates that contractors may have taken shortcuts during construction of the "Big Dig" project.

"They always cutting corners on a job like this, but charging double to the gub-mint," he said, pointing at state safety inspectors. "And could they spare a lousy nickel for a Vietnam vet like me? No sir! I goes over to save the Vietnamese from communism and shit, and those bastards have no gratitude. One of 'em threw a piece of moldy bread at me in 1998, yes sir. 'Get a job, wino' is what he tells me. A Vietnam vet. Um-um-um."

Mookie added that his knowledge of "insider operations and shit" likely does not bode well for his safety.

"You hear me? They want me dead, pal - D-E-A-D!" he yelled, shaking his fist at unseen adversaries. "And with what I know about Iran-Contra, it's a wonder I ain't already washed up on a beach someplace. Um-um-um. Guy like me's gotta play it cool, understand?"

Great little post. Just makes me wanna give the poor guy a hug.
Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home
Copyright 2007, National Nitwit ® . Unauthorized duplication prohibited, but feel free to link away. This is a satirical newspaper, and many of these stories are fictional. You have to guess which ones are faked. National Nitwit ® uses invented names in its stories, except when public figures are being satirized, or when we post a real story. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. Subcomandante Bob once got jiggy with your mom, and she does things in bed that would shock you, dude. The content of this website is the property of National Nitwit ® and its authors, and may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the publisher. National Nitwit® is not designed for readers under 18 years of age. FAIR USE NOTICE: This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of environmental, political, human rights, economic, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues, sustainable development, environmental, community and worker health, democracy, public disclosure, corporate accountability, and social justice issues, mostly because hot college women are also interested in the same issues. Go figure. Anyways, we believe this constitutes a "fair use" of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without fee or payment of any kind to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes, except when you are using it to get laid. If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?