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Rutgers English Lit Prof Leads Double Life, Pens Erotica

Left: Penis mightier than the sword?

By Billy Pilgrim, National Nitwit Rogue Editor

(Camden, NJ)—Rutgers professor Howard Isaacs has enjoyed a modest career over the years as a short-story writer and novelist when he is not engaged in teaching and his many institutional obligations.

However, some of his colleagues and students have begun to question if Isaacs is now moonlighting in pornographic literature after the sales of his second novel began to slump last year.

“I asked him how his book was doing a few weeks ago, and he got really paranoid and changed the subject,” remarked Jan Hammer, associate professor of Medieval Literature. “Plus, he keeps getting mysterious packages in the [English department] mailroom from companies like CumBubble Industries, Ltd. and Balloon Knot Productions. Something is definitely amiss.”

Many students echo Hammer’s concern that Isaacs has become consumed by his lustful alter-ego.

“I’m taking an intro poetry class with him this summer, and his focus seems, well, unconventional at best,” revealed a student who chose to remain anonymous after a National Nitwit interview. “I’m pretty sure Shakespeare didn’t invent the 'Dirty Sanchez,' and I still don’t see Keats’ penchant for circle-jerks anywhere in his Odes.”

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