.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}

8/24/2006

Father Sets Child Free at International Airport


By Banfu T. Burnside, National Nitwit contributing editor

(Baltimore, MD) During a trip home to see his parents, traveler Thomas Roland set his son free last Monday morning at Baltimore Washington International Airport.

"I was flying back to North Carolina to see the folks," said Roland, "and I just decided that I couldn't keep him in captivity any longer."

Roland released Preston, his son of eighteen months, back into the wilds.

"I just set him down with a sippy-cup full of his favorite juice, and a little bag of Cheerios," he said, wiping away a tear. "Then I watched him crawl away through the terminal."

According to Roland, he lacked confidence in his ability to competently father the child, a sentiment echoed by his ex-wife, Loretta.

"Loretta was always telling me what a lousy dad I'd be," he said. "In those moments before boarding, I finally realized that she was right."

Left: Saying goodbye at BWI

Roland maintains that he had "no right to monopolize Preston's precious childhood," opting instead to let him roam free amongst the other babies.

"There was a Chinese kid at the other gate that I saw him playing with before I got on my plane," he said. "Maybe they'll be friends."

Though Roland's parents were initially dismayed when he arrived without their grandson, their shock gave way to cautious optimism.

"We hope that Preston will make better decisions than his father," said Arthur Preston. "But it's not up to us, he's his own man now."

# posted by Subcomandante Bob : 8:10 PM
Comments: Post a Comment



<< Home
Copyright 2007, National Nitwit ® . Unauthorized duplication prohibited, but feel free to link away. This is a satirical newspaper, and many of these stories are fictional. You have to guess which ones are faked. National Nitwit ® uses invented names in its stories, except when public figures are being satirized, or when we post a real story. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. Subcomandante Bob once got jiggy with your mom, and she does things in bed that would shock you, dude. The content of this website is the property of National Nitwit ® and its authors, and may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the publisher. National Nitwit® is not designed for readers under 18 years of age. FAIR USE NOTICE: This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of environmental, political, human rights, economic, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues, sustainable development, environmental, community and worker health, democracy, public disclosure, corporate accountability, and social justice issues, mostly because hot college women are also interested in the same issues. Go figure. Anyways, we believe this constitutes a "fair use" of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without fee or payment of any kind to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes, except when you are using it to get laid. If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?