8/14/2006
Stratego the War Game of Choice for Bush, Cheney
Left: Stratergizing at Stratego
(Washington, DC) High-tech software simulations "just can't touch" the board game Stratego for running Middle Eastern scenarios, acknowledged President Bush in an interview with National Nitwit reporters.
"Stratego really forces you to try and out-think your opponent," he said, moving his Marshal to combat a move by his opponent, Vice President Dick Cheney. "See, Dick here has placed his Spy too far forward, making it more likely to be captured. In this game he's playing Iran, and he's about to get a serious ass-whooping."
Stratego is a board game marketed by Hasbro featuring a 10×10 spaced board and two players with 40 pieces each. Pieces represent individual officers and soldiers in an army. One player uses red pieces, while the other uses blue pieces.
"The key to this game is to identify patterns in Dick's movement that give clues as to the distribution of his Iranian forces," said the President, capturing one of Cheney's Colonels. "Mr. Cheney thinks he's going to fake me out by setting a cluster of Bombs around a Scout instead of his Flag, but I'm not falling for that, Ahmadinejad!"
The President added that he has been a "really big" Stratego fan since childhood.
"Jeb and I used to play this game religiously," he said, defusing one of Cheney's Bombs. "I always won, because I didn't have a problem sacrificing any of my pieces for the war effort. Jeb was way too soft."
(Washington, DC) High-tech software simulations "just can't touch" the board game Stratego for running Middle Eastern scenarios, acknowledged President Bush in an interview with National Nitwit reporters.
"Stratego really forces you to try and out-think your opponent," he said, moving his Marshal to combat a move by his opponent, Vice President Dick Cheney. "See, Dick here has placed his Spy too far forward, making it more likely to be captured. In this game he's playing Iran, and he's about to get a serious ass-whooping."
Stratego is a board game marketed by Hasbro featuring a 10×10 spaced board and two players with 40 pieces each. Pieces represent individual officers and soldiers in an army. One player uses red pieces, while the other uses blue pieces.
"The key to this game is to identify patterns in Dick's movement that give clues as to the distribution of his Iranian forces," said the President, capturing one of Cheney's Colonels. "Mr. Cheney thinks he's going to fake me out by setting a cluster of Bombs around a Scout instead of his Flag, but I'm not falling for that, Ahmadinejad!"
The President added that he has been a "really big" Stratego fan since childhood.
"Jeb and I used to play this game religiously," he said, defusing one of Cheney's Bombs. "I always won, because I didn't have a problem sacrificing any of my pieces for the war effort. Jeb was way too soft."