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Wanksta "Pretty Sure" He Used to Party with Hastert

Left: "Puffy" Gunderschmidt: jes be cool, y'all

(Toledo, OH) Political science major Jeremy "Puffy" Gunderschmidt swears he knows House Speaker Dennis Hastert (R-IL) from someplace besides the TV set.

"Yeah, boy-eee, that nigga be one biznitch freak," said Jeremy "Puffy" Gunderschmidt of the veteran Republican politician. "The party jump, with shorty bouncin' that ass. We smokin', straight locin', locked and loaded - somebody gon' die tonight."

Puffy said that the first time he partied with Hastert was in 2004, and he was suspicious of the congressman when he showed up "at da crib."

"I don't trust a mothafuckin' soul when the D's come they foo. On my first case they told, where I'm from it ain't safe," he said of their first meeting. "But me, I'm a little more flashy a nigga. So chances are, I'ma have to blast me a nigga; I'm on that keflon vest shit, that wild wild west shit. Denny cool wit dat."

Left: Hastert-G, back in the day

Hastert, said Puffy, really knew how to keep the "chrome spinners spinnin.'"

"Da Denny-man be all like: 'System thumpin', dance floor jumpin'. We thirty deep in this bitch, we stuntin' - thats what you get, you in my hood," he said. "He say: "I'll find your whereabouts and clap at you another day. Nigga play with the bread, get a hole in ya head." I knew that he one black g-unit hoody just reak of marijuana, cocaine comin out his pores in the sauna an' shit."

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