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Senator's Staff Lists Slurs Allen Has Never Used

Left: Allen and campaign worker enjoying some watermelon provided by a few helpful darkies

(Washington, DC) Staffers for Senator George Allen (R-VA) released a compendium of racial epithets believed to have never been uttered by the embattled politician.

"We can say without qualification that the Senator has never spoken the words 'hebe,' 'jigaboo,' or 'porch monkey,'" said Dick Wadhams, Allen's campaign manager. "He has never actually said aloud the words 'Americoon' or 'towel head,' although he has written them a few times."

Wadhams said that there was some confusion about the term 'Ching Chong' to reference persons of Chinese extraction.

"The Senator was sure he had never said that one, but then we found a tape and - dang it - he called this young man that over at a Chink-ateria," he said. "We had to scratch that one off the list."

Hattie McDaniels GWTWLeft: No suh - never heard de gub-nah speak bad a no-body

Wadhams added that George Allen is "really a decent guy" once you get past his tendency to use insensitive speech.

"Why, just last week he a bunch of them poor colored kids over to the house, just a-singing and a-dancing up a storm," he chuckled. "It was like something out of Gone With The Wind, it was."

Bob, u r naughty!!!!
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