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10/08/2006

Call Center Rep Re-Routes Calls Back to Server, Enjoys Job More

Happy customer service repLeft: Wilkens is all smiles

(Los Angeles, CA) The stress of handling up to 100 calls per hour began to take its toll on Convergys call center employee Sam Wilkens, so he decided to take matters into his own hands.

"I spliced into the incoming phone line, adding a switching unit. Then I ran a 100-foot phone cord through the ceiling and back to the call router," he chuckled. "Whenever things get too hairy, I flip the switch and send all my calls back to the router. Voila - peace and quiet."

Wilkens said that his "workload readjustment" has gone unnoticed by coworkers and management.

"Everyone else is too busy to notice that I am screwing around playing Tetris and composing poetry," he said, pausing to check his email. "And management only breaks down call volume by the entire office, not by individual worker. The only check they have on me is the log-off software, and I keep my access screen open the entire shift."

Telephone line splice Left: Closeup of Wilkens' unauthorized system modifications

The WRP (work reduction program) has not been without its drawbacks, acknowledged Wilkens.

"Sometimes people look at me funny in the breakroom, because I am in a good mood the entire time I am at work," he admitted. "One of the supervisors made me do a drug screen, figuring I must be smoking dope to be so laid back in this hellhole. I almost feel guilty sometimes, at least until I remember that these asshats are only paying us $11 an hour. Then I smile all the way to the bank."

Comments:
This guy is a genius!!!
 
He'd better watch out or he'll get fired. He's pretty stupid talking to the press: what was he thinking?
 
even if its only $11 an hour, he should still do the work - its not fair to the other workers!
 
I agree he should unplug this thing and get back to work!
 
I call shenanigans. Call centers use all kinds of tracking to know how many calls you take an hour. What, no one notices that he doesn't actually talk to anyone on the phone? No one sits behind him? No one sits next to him?
 
Main Entry: 1joke
Pronunciation: 'jOk
Function: noun
Etymology: Latin jocus; perhaps akin to Old High German gehan to say, Sanskrit yAcati he asks
1 a : something said or done to provoke laughter; especially : a brief oral narrative with a climactic humorous twist b (1) : the humorous or ridiculous element in something (2) : an instance of jesting : KIDDING [can't take a joke] c : PRACTICAL JOKE d : LAUGHINGSTOCK
2 : something not to be taken seriously : a trifling matter [consider his skiing a joke -- Harold Callender] -- often used in negative constructions [it is no joke to be lost in the desert]
 
"This is a satirical newspaper, and these stories are fictional."

READ THE FINE PRINT AT THE BOTTOM OF THIS PAGE!!
 
I seriously object to the call-centre rep being portrayed as a lazy African-American male.
 
No duh this is a joke, CVG employees only make $9/hr (if they are lucky).
 
But he's not a lazy worker as much as he is brilliant.
 
I call BS.. even if they're not tracking his individual .. they're probably tracking him via the trouble ticket or call ticket software, which I gaurentee tags his code or name onto every ticket.
looks to me like another person who thinks he's crafty who will magically get a meeting in a few days asking why theres no work done under his number.
 
This guy has a future in Washington D.C. although he will have stiffer competition there.
 
Dont forget that most call centers require each agent to be recorded and audited atleast a few times per week/month.

Still, if he only did it one or two days per week......

"I seriously object to the call-centre rep being portrayed as a lazy African-American male."

I work in a call center with plenty of lazy African-American males, lazy African-American females, lazy Caucasian-American males and females, lazy Hispanic/Caucasian/African-American transgenders...etc.
Shove your objections.
 
I work for Convergys in Houston, TX, making only $9/hr... I wish i made $11/hr... :(
 
if yall think this story is for real then please leave the site now you are not nearly intelligent enough to understand the humor of this sight....no really bye bye.......I cant beleive people are thinking this is for real hahahaha. Maybe this is the humor for the day.
 
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