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Bush "Shocked" by Verdict, Timing in Saddam Trial

Left: Who could have predicted that crazy verdict?

(Washington, DC) President Bush, speaking with National Nitwit reporters in the Rose Garden, expressed surprise at the outcome of the trial of Saddam Hussein.

"I was shocked as shit, to be honest with y'all," he said, scratching his head. "After the O.J. Simpson trial, I kind of lost faith in justice. Just goes to show you - I thought he was gonna walk for sure."

Bush said that the Iraqi trial venue was his biggest concern.

"I was positive those Iraqis would set that bastard free," he said. "This is a major achievement for Iraq's young democracy and its constitutional government, not to mention the fine work performed by the couple million bucks we had to spread around those greedy Baghdad lawyers and judges."

Bush: "Go figure - we thought he would walk."

Bush said that he and his administration were "especially blown away" by the death sentence handed down by the court.

"I was figuring, what - six months under house arrest, plus, like, some kind of probation and community service," he admitted. "Death, huh? I never saw that one coming. And to think we would get lucky and have the verdict come in right before the 2006 election here at home. Wonders never cease."

Yeah, the timing WAS lousy, about as bad as Rummy's...
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