.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}


Dad Refuses to Give Up Dream of Retarded Son Going to College

Left: Jerry Winslow, Eddie, and normal son Todd

(Madison, WI) "Defeat" is not a word in the vocabulary of Jerry Winslow, and the arrival of his son Eddie in 1978 posed a unique challenge for the industrial sales rep.

"When the doc said the word 'retarded,' it really threw me for a loop," said Winslow, admitting that he was "pretty weirded out" when faced with the prospect of parenting a special needs child. "But I made a decision right then and there: no boy of mine is ever going to be a quitter, no matter how mental or freakish he is."

Winslow vows that, despite his challenges, Eddie will one day graduate from a state college.

"Yeah, he's 28 now, and still working on the alphabet, but this kid is not going to let his old man down, are you Eddie?" he asked the young man. "Are you, sport? SPORT? Attaboy - now quit drooling, because humans don't drool!"

Left: Winslow not impressed with Eddie's "half-assed retard scribblings"

Winslow said that nothing will stop Eddie from reaching his dream.

"I don't care if we have to pay someone to take his tests for him - the kid is getting his bachelor's degree," said Winslow. "I will not have anyone in this family hiding his pansy ass behind the label of 'disabled,' so Mr. Knuckledragger here better think twice before playing the moron game to try and get out of being a success in life."

Jerry Winslow..., what a sensitive and caring individual he is.

But what about his not so special son Todd?

With Jerry it's all he can talk about,
Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie...

This Jerry dude seems to be favoring one son over the other and, that's just not right. He's an insensitive bigot.
Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home
Copyright 2007, National Nitwit ® . Unauthorized duplication prohibited, but feel free to link away. This is a satirical newspaper, and many of these stories are fictional. You have to guess which ones are faked. National Nitwit ® uses invented names in its stories, except when public figures are being satirized, or when we post a real story. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. Subcomandante Bob once got jiggy with your mom, and she does things in bed that would shock you, dude. The content of this website is the property of National Nitwit ® and its authors, and may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the publisher. National Nitwit® is not designed for readers under 18 years of age. FAIR USE NOTICE: This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of environmental, political, human rights, economic, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues, sustainable development, environmental, community and worker health, democracy, public disclosure, corporate accountability, and social justice issues, mostly because hot college women are also interested in the same issues. Go figure. Anyways, we believe this constitutes a "fair use" of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without fee or payment of any kind to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes, except when you are using it to get laid. If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?