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11/25/2006

Ex-Video Game Addict Campaigns Against PS3, Wii Ads

(Chicago, IL) Jacob Dougherty knows a thing or two about addiction.

"I was a hard core gameholic and when I detoxed and after a year long battle, I managed to quit the PS2. I am now almost eight months sober and - until recently - had no desire for video games," the twelve-year-old recovering game addict said, noting that he still attends 12-Step meetings. "I had my share of waking up in strange rooms drenched in piss after a four-day video game binge. It wasn't fun."

Dougherty said the release of new gaming consoles Wii and PlayStation 3 is making recovery difficult for he and other gaming addicts.

"I'm speaking from experience. For years I went through countless gaming benders where I stayed awake for days before I did what I needed to do to get my gaming under control," he said, nervously looking over his shoulder. "Those years must have been awful for my parents and friends, but I have to admit I've been getting some serious cravings for video games lately."

Left: Sony's PlayStation 3 is making gaming addicts tweak

Dougherty recalled the events surrounding his bottoming-out.

"I knew that my life was just a mess. I wasn't going anywhere and it was a rainy day, and I just decided I didn't want to live that way anymore," he said, unconsciously twitching his head. "So I said goodbye to Mario, Final Fantasy, and Madden, and decided to have my mom check me into a treatment facility."

The recovering addict places the blame squarely on the shoulders of companies like Sony.

"The gaming companies tailor advertising to appeal to young adults by placing ads in pop-culture magazines, at music concerts, and on kid-oriented television shows," he said, scratching his arm. "They know that young people are highly influenced by their peers. So if an attractive guy or girl offers you a free video game in return for your email and cell phone number, run. Or you'll wind up like me: waking up in a cold sweat at night, hands trying to hit the X and B keys while trying to pick up a gold coin. Not cool, dude."

Comments:
That's pretty fucked up. Only 12!!!
 
He has a point - Sony wants them to be gaming zombies.
 
He has a legitimate beef - gaming addiction is real, people!
 
No way - you can't tell me gaming is equivalent to smack or crack!
 
Copyright 2006, National Nitwit® . Unauthorized duplication prohibited, but feel free to link away. This is a satirical newspaper, and these stories are fictional.

"It no real."
 
Jacob certainly has his demons, but I'm skeptical that you can blame Sony for that.

If he had misspent his youth designing video games, he could have easily become a millionaire by now, and eligible to retire.

Now, that's a goal ;-)
 
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