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11/09/2006

Man Fends off Jehovah's Witnesses with Shark Attack Moves

Great white shark(Portland, OR) A homeowner who fended off pesky religious solicitors by punching them in the nose said he learned the tactic by watching television shows such as the Discovery Channel's Shark Week.

"It's like your worst nightmare," Anderson said by phone from his Portland home, calling the incident "an adventure which has made life that much more precious and interesting."

Anderson was at his home near a popular surfing spot near Tillamook Head on Saturday when something grabbed his leg. Realizing it was a Jehovah's Witness, he slugged the predator repeatedly in the nose to get it to loosen its grip.

"It felt like getting clamped in a bear trap," he said. "It was a piercing pain accompanied by annoying pamphlets, and then everything went numb."

Anderson said he learned from television shows that a shark's nose is its most sensitive area, and he figured it would also work on Jehovah's Witnesses.

"Yeah, those crazy bastards can smell a sucker just like sharks smell blood in water," he said. "And once they get ahold of you, they won't let go. It's a damn good thing I watched 'Shark Week' to learn the nose-blast technique, or I probably would have been converted by now."

Jehovah's Witness pamphletLeft: Deadly pamphlets led to evasive action

Marvin Beitleman, 54, was one of the Witnesses confronted by the quick-thinking Anderson.

"Look - we were just passing out tracts," he said, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "There was no reason for him to pop me in the face like that. Ouch. That really hurt."

Comments:
He didn't have to punch them - he could have just walked away.
 
Oh, yeah...like Jehovah's Witnesses are soooooooo dangerous............NOT!
 
This man should be considered a national hero. Beacuse of his quick thinking we now have an effective way to defend against them.
 
"...And anyone loving violence His soul certainly hates." - Psalm 11:5
 
http://www.myfoxwghp.com/myfox/pages/News/Detail?contentId=479446&version=1&locale=EN-US&layoutCode=VSTY&pageId=3.10.1
 
Let's not forget that the witness had the poor guy by the leg. Once they've gotten that far the situation is desperate and extraordinary measures are called for!
 
"Anderson said he learned from television shows that a shark's nose is its most sensitive area, and he figured it would also work on Jehovah's Witnesses."

He soon found out that Jehovah's Witnesses weren't particularly sensitive but they are zealous.
 
This needs to be a Saturday Night Live Skit - OOOoops - it was circa 1975 with Garrett Morris :^D!!!!!
 
Read the famous cult classic ARMAGGEDON OKIES about backwoods Jerhovah's Witnesses
www.freeminds.org/buss/okies.htm
 
OVER 450 JEHOVAH'S wITNESS LAWSUITS, COURT CASES, ETC. SUMMARIZED


This website summarizes 300 United States court cases and lawsuits affecting children of Jehovah's Witnesses, including dozens of cases where the Parents refused to consent to life-saving blood transfusions:

DIVORCE, BLOOD TRANSFUSIONS, AND OTHER LEGAL ISSUES AFFECTING CHILDREN OF JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES

http://jwdivorces.bravehost.com/



This website summarizes 160 United States court cases and lawsuits filed by Jehovah's Witnesses against Employers:

EMPLOYMENT ISSUES UNIQUE TO JEHOVAH'S WITNESS EMPLOYEES

http://jwemployees.bravehost.com/index.html
 
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