National Nitwit

Guest editorial by Jake Millen, certified equestrian trainer

You gotta hand it to that Hillary Swank. Most women looking like a thoroughbred would have given up and become stable-hands or something.

Not Hillary - despite having a face like Seabiscuit, she kept plugging away and got herself famous.

Now don't get me wrong - I appreciate her many fine qualities. She's got a nice, thick head with widely-spaced eyes sitting on a neck which is somewhat longer and lighter than most other breeds.

Her withers are high and well defined, leading to an evenly curved back. She's got deep, well-muscled shoulders, while her heart girth is deep and relatively narrow. Her legs are clean and long with pronounced tendons, and they move very smoothly in unison as she trots.

The bone structure of her haunches make room for long, strong muscling, and she doesn't look like the kind who'd fight the saddle.

But she's a woman, for gosh sakes, not a Palomino. And to think about what she's accomplished, in spite of being so dang ugly you'd want to scratch out your own eyes just as soon as look at her.

Yep - she's an inspiration, and if the whole actress thing don't work, she can always find work at the track.