National Nitwit

(New York) Known for their clean cuts, superior quality and sophistication, fashion giants Hugo Boss announced the company will branch out into previously-uncharted style waters with a new line of clothing for Orthodox rabbis.

Bruno Saelzer, chief executive at Hugo Boss, said that the firm is "testing right now whether a major collection for rabbis would be a profitable venture," but added that focus groups have been "pretty upbeat" about the test.

"Let's face it - the Orthodox have been underserved by the fashion industry for a couple millenium," he said. "Just because they preach that the law is embodied mainly in the Talmud and Aggadah - which is intrinsically and inherently entwined with the written law of the Torah - does not mean that they can't say so with a little style."

Rabbi Yitzchok Kushner said that the new fashion designs were "long overdue."

"I love Hugo Boss since they have a comtemporary look and are easy to coordinate with your wardrobe," he said, looking at his new suit in the mirror. "They make great wardrobe basics. And, to be honest, it's time to update the Halakha, anyhow."

Left: Rabbi Yisroel Roth sporting a pair of the Hugo Boss "Sephardi Shades"

Saelzer said that - contrary to stereotype - the Orthodox rabbi focus group did not mention price as a major consideration when evaluating the new styles.

"They are more concerned about value - something that looks nice, wears well, and can stand up to abuse by immigrant dry cleaner workers," he said. "And I, for one, know exactly what they mean. If another one of those chickenhead-eating bastards ruins one of my silk shirts, I swear to God I'm going to burn down his fucking store."

Labels: fashion, Hugo Boss, Orthodox Judaism