National Nitwit

(Chevy Chase , MD) Members of Neanderthalian activist groups gathered outside the corporate headquarters of insurance firm GEICO to protest what they called "demeaning and insulting" caricatures of the proto-human beings.

"They dress up a 'caveman' in sweaters, have him order some shit called "Roast Duck with Mango Salsa," and have him carrying tennis rackets," complained Graak, a leader of one band. "Our material culture is based upon tool kits consisting of stone-flakes, task-specific hand axes, and spears. No tennis rackets, and no gay-ass cashmere sweaters, thank you very much."

Graak said his group was "highly pissed" about recent GEICO ads showing a "caveman" with a therapist.

"No self-respecting "caveman" would be caught dead with a human therapist, except if we were gutting and eating her," he insisted. "Besides, that GEICO actor clearly has no crest on the mastoid process behind his ear opening or the broad, outward-projecting nose so much a staple of Neanderthalian beings. He's a total fake, and pretty much a girly-boy."

Left: Graak says this is an "insulting stereotype"

Among the "dead giveaways" evident in the GEICO caveman, said Graak, are the perfect teeth in the television actor.

"Look at those things - you can tell that pretty-boy there has never gnawed on a mastadon bone or sharpened a spear point with those dainty teeth," he said, grunting in disgust. "What's more, we Neanderthals are prone to dental enamel hypoplasia due to food scarcity, trauma, and disease. GEICO may slip this twinkie-man past uneducated viewers, but we are offended by their efforts to portray us as a bunch of limp-wristed sissies. BRAAAAAAR!"

Labels: GEICO, GEICO caveman, Neanderthal