National Nitwit

By Billy Pilgrim, National Nitwit Rogue Editor

Moll at the height of his slack-jawed popularity, circa 1986

(Los Angeles, CA)—Richard Moll, one of the most iconic character actors of the 1980s for his idiosyncratic portrayal of bailiff Bull Shannon on NBC’s Night Court, was shaken to his very core yesterday evening when his 3-hour shopping trip at a Los Angeles mall was devoid of a single onlooker or gawking fan.

“I couldn’t believe it,” vented Moll, looking oddly distinguished with a closely-trimmed beard and turtleneck sweater in an exclusive interview with The National Nitwit. “I’ve had French people recognize me on a freaking walking-tour of the Bastille, but I couldn’t inspire a single camera phone snapshot here in L.A. It’s like people don’t even care about talent anymore.”

Moll in the 21st century - unnoticed and irritated

And while Moll seemed open to speculation that many younger Americans may have not had exposure to, or even heard of Night Court, he sweepingly rejected the notion that he was not, in fact, still an A-list celebrity.

“Sure, I don’t have the ‘face time’ that I used to, but I’m still just as famous as I was twenty years ago,” Moll beamed. “After all, I did an off-Broadway production back in ’97 which got two whole paragraphs in Rolling Stone magazine. But these kids today—they probably wouldn’t care if Christ himself appeared in Hot Topic and bought My Chemical Romance t-shirts for all of his apostles.”

Spiritual considerations aside, a random survey of teens at the mall seemed genuinely unaware of Moll’s self-described “striking countenance.”

“That huge scary lookin’ guy? I thought he was homeless,” remarked Tina Howe, 17, a retail clerk at one of the mall’s many jewelry kiosks. “Are you sure he ain’t homeless? Shit, at the very least he got cancer. His beard was all patchy, and he had this sea-green skin like a chemo patient.”