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Willy the Goon Will SMASH 44 Million New York Visitors!

Willy the Goon Guest editorial by Willy the Goon

44 million people visit New York City this year. Willy want to SMASH each and every stupid tourist head.

Tourists make city too busy. Toruists stare and laugh at Willy when he yells at them. Tourists ask too many questions, and tourist children need to be spanked with orange palstic HotWheels tracks, like Willy's mama did when Willy was bad.

Tourists are stupid heads and wear stupid clothes and eat stupid foods.

When Willy sees stupid head tourist cars, he climbs in and shits GIANT DOOKIE in their cars. HA! HA!

Times SquareStupid heads all want Times Square

"But Willy!" Mayor Michael Bloomberg says. "Tourists spend $24 billion in the city this year."

Willy does not care. Willy will SMASH tourist cars and SMASH tourist stupid hats and SMASH all stupid head tourists. And take a GIANT DOOKIE in their cars.

Willy DOES NOT want to take medicine. Group home supervisor can kiss Willy's ass, after Willy SMASH group home supervisor.

Tourists bad, like a plague on cultural sensibilities. Willy SMASH them.

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GO Willy! FREE Willy!
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