.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}

1/02/2007

America Thanks Gerald Ford for the Extra Day Off

Gerald Ford in his casket lies in state (Washington, DC) Across the United States today millions of Americans gethered to show thanks for the timely passing of former President Gerald R. Ford.

"I was scheduled to work overtime today, on account of already having Monday off for New Year's Day," said postal carrier Patrick Desjarlais. "Now, with Ford dying and all, I get a 4-day weekend. Sweet!"

Thousands filed into the Rotunda over the past three days to pay respects to the man summoned to the highest office when Watergate destroyed Richard Nixon's presidency in 1974, but many millions more will sit on their rears and enjoy an extra day off.

"This is like a dream come true - I can't remember the last time I had this many days off with pay before," said part-time logistics assistant Mark Lorrigan, of Alexandria. "What did you say that guy's name was again who gave us the day off? I'll have to buy him a beer."

IRS employees enjoying a break from auditsIRS employees enjoying a break from audits

A group of auditors from the Internal Revenue Service marked the occasion of the state funeral to head up to Pennsylvania for some skiing.

"There's not much snow, but the beer's cold, and it sure beats the hell out of working," admitted Jason Treuhaft, of Arlington. "I never voted for Ford, being a lifelong Democrat, but I'm a happy camper even if he did pardon that rat bastard Nixon. Nice touch, Mr. Ford."

Labels: , ,


Comments:
You know, I usually don't expect to be informed when I hop over here...but this does explain the up-ward position of the red flag on my mail box.
 
BTW, do you realize that I live in Wisconsin? Never been to Toledo...though I hope to get the chance someday.
 
Post a Comment



<< Home
Copyright 2007, National Nitwit ® . Unauthorized duplication prohibited, but feel free to link away. This is a satirical newspaper, and many of these stories are fictional. You have to guess which ones are faked. National Nitwit ® uses invented names in its stories, except when public figures are being satirized, or when we post a real story. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. Subcomandante Bob once got jiggy with your mom, and she does things in bed that would shock you, dude. The content of this website is the property of National Nitwit ® and its authors, and may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the publisher. National Nitwit® is not designed for readers under 18 years of age. FAIR USE NOTICE: This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of environmental, political, human rights, economic, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues, sustainable development, environmental, community and worker health, democracy, public disclosure, corporate accountability, and social justice issues, mostly because hot college women are also interested in the same issues. Go figure. Anyways, we believe this constitutes a "fair use" of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without fee or payment of any kind to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes, except when you are using it to get laid. If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?