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Codependent Couple United by Rum, Pills

Dysfunctional, codependent couple (Toledo, OH) Toledo couple Richard and Greta Carmody have found that the secret to relationship longevity is found in an unusual source: intoxicants.

"Pretty simple - Greta doesn't give me any shit about doing what I do," said Richard, knocking back a triple shot of Captain Morgan. "She gives me space, and stays the hell out of stuff that really isn't any of her goddamn business. Am I right?"

Greta said that she enjoys reading, knitting, and watching television.

"I really like that show 'House,' with that crazy Doctor Greg," she said, warily eyeing husband Richard as he downed a handful of Vicodin. "Sometimes Richard watches it with me, don't you, Richard? Do you need some ice, sweetie?"

Captain MorganCaptain Morgan, bringing people together and getting some of them drunk since 1944

Grunting in the kitchen, Richard seemed oblivious to his wife's comments in his effort to find another bottle of rum. Greta told reporters that she "totally understands" what Richard has been going through.

"Since he lost his job at Jeep, he's been under a lot of stress," she said of Richard's 2002 firing. "And he's having trouble sleeping, too, so I try not to be a sourpuss."

Ultimately, though, Greta just knows what the limits are, said Richard.

"She almost never crosses the line, you know?" he asked, opening a pint of his favorite spiced liquor. "And when she does, let's just say that she jumps back on the right side real quick."

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I thought me and my wife had it bad. These people are fucked in the head.
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