National Nitwit

Left: Short-lived holiday joy for at least one family

(Decatur, IL) The Pasuellos enjoyed one of their "best Christmases ever," according to family matriarch Patty.

"We must have spent over $8,000 on presents this year," she sighed. "Everything was fine until these credit card bills started rolling in. Now I think we have a pretty good idea what those Nazi concentration camp victims felt."

Patty and her husband Guillermo have undertaken what they describe as "drastic austerity measures" to balance the family budget after the holiday spending spree.

"I'm cooking nothing but meatloaf, Tuna Helper, and spaghetti for the next two months," vowed Patty, clipping coupons on grocery staples. "The kids call this place 'Auschwitz,' and they're probably accurate, but what else can we do?"

Left: Spaghetti now the dinner ration for two, sometimes three nights a week at the Passuelo "camp"

Guillermo - who the children have taken to calling Kapo for his strict rules - also set the nighttime thermostat at a never-before low of 62 degrees, said Patty.

"Some mornings it's almost like you can see your breath, but not quite," she said, pulling her sweater closed. "Now I know how those Jews must have felt on the cold Poland nights in those death camps - freezing, and never knowing when the sun would return. I tell you - what doesn't kill you makes you stronger."

Labels: Auschwitz, belt tightening, Christmas